VINE

When I left working with victims of domestic and sexual violence, VINE was just starting to become a reality in most counties of Wisconsin.  At the time, it focused on providing information on perpetrators that were in custody.  And in most counties it seemed to provide timely notice.

Since then it has added service of restraining orders as well.  So now, a victim can sign up to receive alerts when her perpetrator has been released from custody or served with an injunction.  It is an amazing tool.  But it has it limits.

I signed up to receive notice via e-mail when a client of mine's husband was served by the temporary restraining order.  Her husband was served on a Tuesday and I didn't receive the e-mail that said he had been served until Saturday.   That is a huge lag time!  How is that a benefit to a victim of domestic violence?

After abuse, survivors of domestic violence face lonely legal battle

The Wisconsin State Journal published an article titled, "After abuse, survivors of domestic violence face lonely legal battle" on November 23, 2014.  It outlines the challenges a victim of domestic violence faces in the courtroom against a spouse or father of their child(ren) in family and related matters.  I can share in the frustrations of the a legal advocate who can only be there to provide support and not legal guidance or representation.  As a state we do a terrible job looking out for victims of domestic violence and their children and it wasn't ever so apparent when legal aid organization groups like Legal Action of Wisconsin lost all of their state funding in recent years.

Opponents of any aid to domestic violence victims would argue that Guardian ad Litems are there to watch out of the best interests of the children in these situations.  I argue that Guardian ad Litems are not even required to have any training in working with children whose parent is a victim of domestic violence.  Thus they don't have the knowledge, unless they seek it out on their own, to understand the dynamics and manipulation in the lives of these children and their parents.  Furthermore, our court system lacks the same training.

Reflecting back

Today as I walked home in the mist, newly fallen trees scattered across the ground reflecting the headlights of cars, I took the moment to reflect.  I don't know what got me thinking about where I've been and where I'm going but nevertheless, I found myself remembering the interview I had with Legal Action in the fall of 2009, the first step I took towards the law field and away from the teaching world.

At the time, I had no legal experience.  I had no experience with victims of domestic abuse.  And I really had no recent office experience.  So you can imagine, I felt a bit intimidated as I sat across the table from two attorneys and a paralegal as they questioned me and really grilled me on my ability to handle the emotional stress of dealing with victims of domestic abuse all day.  When I got the call with the job offer, I hesitated.  I feared my Spanish skills were not good enough for the elaborate phone conversations I was expected to have or to interpret for an attorney.  And although I hadn't questioned it before the interview, I questioned whether I was mentally up for the job.

I found I was wrong to fear my Spanish skills wouldn't adapt quickly and allow me to succeed.  But I was right though that working day in and day out with victims of domestic abuse was not something I was up to long term.  Unfortunately though, I didn't learn that until after working at a shelter for victims.  I don't regret that job as it really gave me great experience and I feel like I did a lot of good, but I didn't like how it changed me.

This post ran much more eloquently in my head as I walked home a couple of hours ago.  But continuing, today, five years later, I am a paralegal for a small law firm billing for some of my hours each day and managing assistants.  I have the opportunity to meet with and interact with clients regularly, review detailed financial information, draft orders, stipulations, marital settlement agreements and other pleadings, hire and train new employees, and be a resource to others in the office.

If you had asked me five years ago where I would be today, I could never have even imagined this.

Family Justice Center in Milwaukee

Today on jsonline, there is an article about plans for a Family Justice Center that will bring together many groups to better serve victims of domestic abuse.  When I worked at Legal Action, I remember discussions about bringing more groups together and it is really neat to see this might actually happen.

Lundy Bancroft and Janet Johnston

At a recent training, Lundy Bancroft mentioned Janet Johnston which has caused a bit of a stir with a few members of our community.  Bancroft did not go into detail at the training but referenced his book The Batterer as Parent where he spends an entire chapter discussing Janet Johnston's research.  As I couldn't find our copy of the book, I found online a blog post by Bancroft that addresses this very thing.  About half way through the post in the section titled, "The Connection Between Battering and Child Abuse" Bancroft discusses the typologies identified by Johnston and the issues he sees with using these typologies to assess risk in child custody and placement cases.  The AFCC (Association of Family and Conciliation Courts) used Johnston's research on these typologies in developing their risk assessment.

Lundy Bancroft

Our organization had the pleasure of hosting a training led by Lundy Bancroft last month who has extensive experience in batterer's treatment and domestic violence and has published several excellent books.  We refer many of our clients to his book entitled Why Does He Do That?.  The Batterer as Parent is a great resource for professionals working with victims of domestic violence and their families.  Below are some key messages I took from the training led by Lundy Bancroft.

Overlap of abuse towards mother and child abuse

• 49% of batterers also physically abuse the children
• Batterers are 7 times more likely to physically abuse the children than a non-batterer
• Batterers are 6 times more likely to sexually abuse children than a non-batterer

 How the batterer appears in court or when meeting with professionals

• Will deny/minimize allegations of domestic violence
• Make allegations that the mother has mental health problems, abuses alcohol or drugs, or is an unfit parent
• Will commonly appear as the friendly parent
• Skillfully dishonest and manipulative which professionals may not recognize
• Will usually outperform victim in psychological tests – there is no psych test that will show someone is a batterer
• Will not seem capable of the kind of cruelty or abuse being accused of
• Very good under observation
• Will appear very calm when meeting with professionals like an officer immediately following an incident – batterers are very controlled in their behaviors even though at times they may appear out of control – an example – when he destroys things, he avoids destroying his own belongings

How the victim appears in court or when meeting with professionals

• May not appear to be a good parent as the batterer typical undermines and interferes with her parenting
• Often do not perform well on psychological tests which are usually only about 70% accurate in evaluating mental health and usually do not relate the results to the individual’s ability to parent
• Typically not good witnesses

 Impact of battering on children

• Batterer often causes divisions in the family affecting children’s relationships with their siblings and with their mother
• They learn by example the values and behaviors that lead to perpetration or victimization
• Separation increases the chances of children witnessing violence as it often occurs during exchanges
• Children are often used as weapons or tools to continue the abuse

 Other comments by Lundy Bancroft

• Domestic violence is not a relationship problem, it is a battering problem.
• Our legal system sends victims mixed messages – if they stay with an abusive partner they are failing to protect the children; if they leave, the abusive partner is granted extensive unsupervised placement with the children leaving the victim unable to protect her children
• Children heal through repairing their connection to the non-abusive parent and their siblings.  They also heal through increased safety and establishing loving, appropriate relationships with adults.
• The risk of a boy becoming a perpetrator is directly related to whether the boy grew up believing the violence was the non-abusive parent’s fault or whether the abusive parent had to take responsibility.
• Victims tend to give up financial orders (maintenance, child support, property division, etc.) in order to get custody and placement.  This often backfires as most financial orders cannot be modified at a later date but custody and placement can be modified.  With the lack of favorable financial orders, the victim doesn’t have the financial resources to fight it when the batterer keeps bringing them back to court to modify custody and placement.

No contact orders

I recently learned that no contact orders that are a condition of bond are not in effect when a defendant is in custody so I spent some time focusing on increasing my understanding of various no contact orders and what they can do to protect a victim.  Please note that I work in WI and so all of these no contact orders are specific to WI.  Other states will have varying laws which may or may not be the same as WI's laws.

No contact orders at the time of arrest
72 hour no contact order:  This is an order entered at the time of arrest of a perpetrator of domestic violence.  The victim has the right to waive or enforce this no contact order.  This order stays in effect for the 72 hours regardless of whether criminal charges are filed unless the victim waives it in writing.  2011 WI Act 267 recently changed the laws regarding violations of this no contact order to a criminal charge (from a citation).

No contact orders during a pending criminal case
No contact order as a condition of bond (WI statutes Chapter 969):  This is a criminal no contact order that a judge can order (usually at the request of the DA).  Bond must be posted (and the defendant no longer in custody) for this order to be in effect.  This order can prohibit contact with a victim and the victim's residence at the discretion of the judge and can last up to the length of the case.  A violation results in bail jumping.

No contact order per WI Statutes 940.47:  This is a criminal no contact order entered by the judge (usually at the request of the DA) which can prohibit intimidation of victims or witnesses, in person contact with victims or witnesses, and/or communication with victims or witnesses.  A violation can result in intimidation of victims charges.  This criminal no contact order if entered is in effect regardless of whether bond has been posted.


Condition of a Deferred Prosecution Agreement (DPA):  If a defendant agrees to accept a DPA, a no contact order can be a part of that agreement.  If the defendant follows the conditions of this agreement, his case is dismissed after a set amount of time.  If he violates the conditions (including violating the no contact provision) of his DPA, he can be immediately found guilty and sentenced in that case.

No contact orders upon sentencing
No contact order as condition of probation:  If a defendant is sentenced to probation, a no contact order can be entered as part of the conditions of his probation.  My understanding is that this no contact order can be entered by the judge at the time of sentencing or by the probation officer.  If he violates, he can be arrested and his probation can be revoked.  Additionally it is my understanding that new laws allow the DA's office to enter criminal charges upon violation of this order as well.

Civil no contact orders
Civil temporary restraining orders and injunctions (WI Statutes Chapter 813):  This no contact order is separate from any criminal case and requires the victim to file a petition requesting a temporary restraining order that can last up to two weeks and then appear at a hearing to petition the court for an injunction that can last up to four years (depending on the type of petition filed).  The petitioner can specify exceptions to this no contact order to allow certain types of contact (which is often important in cases where the parties have minor children and need to be able to communicate in some safe way).  This type of no contact order is available to victims regardless of police contact or criminal charges.  A violation of this type of no contact order can result in immediate arrest and criminal charges.

It is important to remember that no contact orders can be an important part of a safety plan but cannot be the entire safety plan.  As we saw in the recent shooting in Brookfield, the perpetrator didn't care that there was an injunction in place.  That is not to say that all perpetrators will ignore no contact orders.  They work for many victims/survivors so it is important to listen to the victim/survivor carefully for what s/he thinks will keep him/her safe.  S/he is the one who knows the perpetrator the best.

Additionally, it may make sense for an individual to seek various no contact orders at once since they all provide slightly different protection.  Many of my clients chose to file for a civil restraining order even while there is a criminal no contact order as a condition of bond in place because criminal no contact orders are not long term orders and can disappear with little warning if the defendant pleads guilty.  So for those working victims/survivors it is important to understand the pros and cons of each type of no contact order so that victim/survivor can make an informed choice about what is going to keep him/her safe.

Please note that I am not an attorney and this post does not contain legal advice.  In this post, I am explaining my understanding of the no contact orders available to individuals in WI.  If any of the information above is not accurate, please comment on this post as my goal is to provide the most accurate information possible.

Domestic violence in popular culture

Years ago, I got into an online discussion about the song "Goodbye Earl" sung by the Dixie Chicks.  At the time I felt strongly against the song because of the violence it advocated.  I got a lot of negative feedback from people who told me I didn't understand what it was like to be a victim of domestic abuse.  I responded that I'm not judging what an individual victim may do to protect herself but instead am judging a message being put out by a famous country song that can be interpreted many very bad ways.

Now after three years working directly with victims of domestic and sexual violence, I don't pretend to know what they go through but it has given me a better understanding.  And with that better understanding my thoughts have not changed regarding that song.  I will not judge what an individual victim decides is best for him/her.  But I will not ever feel it is appropriate for popular culture to advocate violence.

There are other songs that follow this trend which I strongly do not agree with such as Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats."

Another song I would like to mention is Eminem (with Rihanna)' "Love the Way you Lie."  This song is not as clear cut to me because I feel it does bring up the conflicted emotions of a victim and the cycle they are stuck in both things that can bring awareness.  On the other hand it really romanticizes the violence and avoids accountability.  I feel like it sends the message that there are excuses for the violence and in my opinion there is no valid excuse for violence towards another individual.

Salon Shooting in Brookfield

There has been much to reflect on the last few weeks and absolutely no time to reflect so I hope that in the next weeks, I will have a number of blog posts to share with you.  Today though I feel the need to address the Salon Shooting in Brookfield, WI.

Like many, I poured over articles and searched for fingers to point, for ways the system failed this woman.  But then I was reminded of the lack of value in should statements.  If there is one thing that we, as advocates, law enforcement, court personnel, and most importantly as community members take from this it is that our work is not done.  I cannot control what someone else does and fretting over it does nothing but infuriate me.  I CAN control what I am doing for victims, survivors, friends, family members, neighbors, colleagues, etc.

So I encourage each one of us (myself included) to refocus our energies on the work we can do and the differences we make in others' lives.  And my thoughts go out to all of those affected by violence.

It's amazing how much more at peace I feel after one of the most stressful days by spending my drive home refocusing my energy and drafting this blog post in my head.  Now it is time to crawl in bed with a good book.

Representing a client who has experienced trauma

The National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma, and Mental Health  published an attorney handbook for working with domestic violence survivors who also have mental health concerns.

It really focuses on trauma informed care and making sure the survivor is making her own decisions after assessing all the risks and benefits.  It also includes some thoughts on whether to bring up mental health concerns, how to cross examine the opposing party, and how to utilize experts.  It seems like an excellent resource for an attorney working with a domestic abuse survivor, especially one who also has mental health concerns.

The one frustration I see though is that private attorneys aren't usually willing to provide this type of time commitment to one client and a survivor likely does not have the resources to pay an attorney's hourly rate.  And with cuts in funding to nonprofit law firms, there just aren't enough public interest attorneys to handle these cases.

The Good in People

Today I was reminded of the good in people that so often gets overshadowed by the bad in this world.  A woman was on the side of the road being grabbed by her husband and a random stranger drove by and saw.  That stranger made a U-turn and went back to the woman to see if she needed help.  The woman accepted his help and he took her to the police station.

Civil Gideon

Legal Action of Wisconsin has put together a motion packet for pro se individuals to use to request that the court appoint an attorney to represent them in a civil case.  A court appointed attorney is not a right in civil cases (like it is in criminal cases) but pro se individuals have the right to ask for one.

Low income individuals have very little luck finding legal representation and without representation, they have difficulty navigating the court system, the court system becomes more bogged up as judges need to waste time educating pro se individuals, and the results are often not favorable.  

The need for legal representation is even greater for victims of domestic violence because of the imbalance of power in the relationship, their lack of financial resources because of financial abuse, perpetrator's use of the court system to further control their victim, and the trauma the victim has experienced which often effects how she presents herself.  Add to all of that the costs associated with going through the court system (GAL fees, study fees, mediation fees, etc.) and the push in many counties to give parties 50/50 placement and joint custody even with the presence of domestic violence.  

Can we make the court system any more difficult for victims?  When will courts recognize the effects on children of domestic violence and make that a priority over parental rights?  When will courts recognize that most contested custody battles involve domestic violence and because of the perpetrator's focus on controlling the victim instead of the best interests of the children, GAL and studies are necessary?  When will courts recognize that the costs for such should be paid by the party causing the need for those things?  When will courts make a priority protecting children?

It's so frustrating to see courts ignore some very important tools for victims of domestic violence that are written right into the state statutes.  And it is so frustrating to watch clients go further and further in debt when all they want to do is protect their children.

So getting back to the topic of legal representation for indigent individuals in civil cases, I hope that courts see this as an opportunity to make the court process more fair and provide better access to our court system for indigent individuals but I fear that county budgets will instead be the focus at the expense of indigent individuals and at the expense of victims of domestic and sexual violence and their children.

How Churches can address domestic violence

The May issue of The Lutheran has a great article of the role churches can play in addressing domestic violence.  Many of our clients have a strong faith and turn to their church for support.  Some do a great job in supporting them, some focus so much on keeping the family together which can further endanger the victim.  For anyone in a leadership position in a church of any faith, I encourage you to find a copy of the article and read it.

Children see. Children do.

This video clip speaks for itself.

Listen carefully

Advocates for victims of domestic violence can be so passionate, myself included, that we sometimes forget to listen.  No one knows their abuser like the victim him/herself.  What we think to be best for a victim might further endanger a victim.  What we suggest may not be something the victim is comfortable with.  And regardless of whether the victim asks directly "What do you think I should do?" they may be listening very carefully to what we are saying and reply with what they think we want to hear.

It's important that we sit back and listen more and talk less.  It's important that we don't dictate solutions but help victims come up with their own solutions.  It's important that we remember that not all victims are ready to separate from the abuser for many reasons.  It's important that we listen.

Defensive wounds

Unless they are 2 years old, people don't just go out and bite people so it is always troubling when I hear cases where the police arrested someone for biting the other person or worse, charge them with a crime for biting someone. Bite marks and usually scratches are defensive wounds typically in reaction to being strangled or physically restrained. I really wish that when police heard the allegation that someone bit them, they would take the time to figure out why.

Court Fees

Everyone has equal access to the courts, that is, IF you have money.  I have often been troubled by the fact that many hesitate to use the legal system because they can't afford all the fees and costs associated with it.

For example, imagine a mother who has some concerns about the safety of her children while they have placement with their father.  Maybe the children are returning with bruises.  Maybe the children return starving and dirty.  Maybe the mother has recently learned that the father has been seen doing drugs while his children are there.  The mother may report these things to the police and/or child protective services.  But what if this isn't quite enough for child protective services to step in and do something?

In Washington County, before even being allowed to file a motion to modify placement, the mother would have to request mediation (which has a fee).  After mediation fails, she would be able to file a motion (which has fees) and before even having a hearing the court almost always appoints a guardian ad litem (which requires a $1000 deposit which the party initiating the action pays).  And depending on the case and the guardian ad litem, the parties would likely be ordered to pay additional money for the guardian ad litem.  Then often a home custody study is ordered (which has a substantial fee).

If a fee waiver is approved, the filing fee and part of the mediation fee can be waived.  Even the guardian ad litem deposit can be waived.  But regardless of ability to pay at the end of the case, the parties are typically ordered to pay back guardian ad litem fees and home custody study fees.

Now, imagine that the mother recently separated from an abusive partner who is also the father of her children. Her abusive partner likely did not allow her to work and did not give her access to the money.  She is likely struggling to keep a roof over her and her children's heads.  How would she pay back the court for these fees?

Taxes - Married filing separately

I learned something new yesterday.  As a common law state, in Wisconsin, married couples can file taxes as married filing separately and choose to each file half of each other's income.  If one party decides to file that way, both parties must file that way.  This means that if one party earns $100,000 a year and the other party earns $10,000 a year, then both parties would claim $55,000 of income on their taxes.  The party only earning $10,000 would likely find it VERY difficult to come up with all the tax that would be due especially if the parties are separated or going through a divorce.  So this is something that really needs to be thought through before court orders specify how the parties will file their taxes.

Why does he do that?

I am in the middle of reading the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. He does an incredible job of explaining the dynamics of domestic violence and attempting to explain why abusive men are abusive.

Chapter 10 is a great chapter title "Abusive Men as Parents." At one point he discusses the mixed messages that society sends mothers who are victims of domestic violence and he said something that really struck me. He talks about how when mothers choose to stay with their abusive partners, child protection officials threaten to take their children away and claim that they are failing to protect their children. But then when a mother leaves her abusive partner and goes to the court regarding custody and physical placement, the court tells her that she can't keep the children away from their father. Washington County goes even further and says that 50/50 placement is in the best interests of the child. So it is not OK to stay and let her children be exposed to the violence but once you leave, you have no choice but to allow your children be exposed to the violence. How does that make any sense?

"Domestic Violence Claimed 58 Lives in Wisconsin" in 2010

Linked here is the Wisconsin Domestic Violence Homicide Report for 2010 put together by WCADV.  Hopefully, it makes people more aware of what is happening to so many victims so that victims can find people to reach out to before it is too late.