Not everything you read online is true

It may be obvious to most of us, but not everything you read online is true.  We have recently come across a situation where many half truths and lies are being published that put us in a bad light yet due to confidentiality and ethical rules, we can't even defend ourselves.  Politics have come into play in something that isn't political at all.

Put your cell phone away

It seems that those in my generation and younger are tied to their phones.  Many even take them to the bathroom!  (I don't want to know what you would need to do on your phone while in the bathroom.)

Let me give you a very valuable piece of advice - When you are at work, put your phones away!  Unless your mother is in the hospital or your wife is due to have a baby, they don't belong on your desk and you shouldn't constantly be on them at work.  Leave them in your purse, coat pocket, car, etc. and only pull them out when on break.

Why, you ask?

1. It looks terrible to your supervisor who is noticing how often you interrupt your work to check your phone.
2. It effects your efficiency and productivity which your supervisor is noticing.
3. It likely will affect your job security.
4. It likely will affect your ability to get good references when you choose to move on to a new position.
5. And it's just not good to your mental health to be so dependent on it.

Getting in Trouble vs. Criticism

Just because someone gives you criticism or feedback does not mean that you are "in trouble".  In order to grow as individuals we have to consider feedback that we are getting constantly throughout the day, whether it be from clients, colleagues, supervisors, and even ourselves.  If we are so focused on not getting in trouble, we completely miss the opportunity.

Look deeper

Legal professionals (and probably many other professionals) need to pause and look deeper.  Rarely that which is on the surface reflects the truth below.

Don't miss the good.

When you start looking for all the bad, it's very easy to miss the good.

This is true when it comes to relationships both in and out of the work place as well as situations, projects, positions, etc.

Integrity and Attorneys Seem an Unlikely Pair

Lawyers have a bad reputation for being arrogant, confrontational, unscrupulous, and contentious, just to name a few.  They get that bad reputation because as in any stereotype some attorneys fit that description quite well.  The good news is they are not all like that.

I work for a law firm whose core values include honesty and integrity.  We will fight for our clients' rights while making sure we don't lose sight of working towards an outcome that will be fair to all parties, focus on the children's best interests, and however possible, be the least destructive to important relationships.

When I see examples of honesty and integrity in the attorneys I work with, it reminds me that I am right where I am supposed to be.

Fireworks

Fireworks have changed over the years.  I remember when I was young, being awed by each individual firework set off, one at a time, giving the spectator a chance to appreciate each on its own.  Last night watching the fireworks from my in-laws' boat, I experienced something quite different.  It was a constant race to the sky with many overshadowing others.  And then when it came to the end, I couldn't even guess how many they set off at one time.  It was a mess of lights in the sky with no definition or unique character.

Have we lost the time to recognize the various stones of an archway?  Do we even notice when the archway crumbles, lacking a key stone as we race on to the next task?  Has the push for quantity overcome the importance of quality?  Has the push for quantity driven us to forget and fail to appreciate the crucial contributions of others?

Technology Has Made Us Very Inefficient

Throughout each day, both in and out of work, we are always plugged into outside disruptions.  We carry cell phones with us that give us instant access to people, through not only phone calls, but also text messages and e-mail.  And with just a ring or tone on our phone or an alert on our computer we are constantly interrupted.  Every time you switch gears, you lose valuable time doing so.  Any time you return to a project, you waste time trying to figure out where you left off.

When suggestions of unplugging or only checking e-mail and voicemail at certain times of the day are brought up, the number one response always is, "But what if it is important?"

I believe there is a huge gap between what we perceive as important enough to interrupt our productive work and what truly is important enough to do so.

I challenge you to give yourself uninterrupted blocks of time each day both at home and at work.

Edit:  After posting this post, I discovered this article (posted on www.forbes.com written by Travis Bradberry) that is very relevant.

“…improve the simple, and the complication often diminishes.”

I have been working with Lisa McNeil at the Wisconsin Wellness Clinic for a couple of months now and she has been very helpful to me.  I also enjoy her blog posts.  Today’s post especially hit home with me and is something that I think can be applied to many different areas of our lives.  I’ll let you read about it here.

Actions of Ordinary People Offer Hope

Click on the following article titled:  Tim Gruenke:  Actions of Ordinary People Offer Hope from the LaCrosse Tribune.  This article is a great reminder of why we do what we do.

The Law of the Garbage Truck by David J. Pollay

Click here to read about The Law of the Garbage Truck.  It takes a new perspective on life.  When I was at the DA's office, I saw this posted on someone's door and really liked it so thought I would share....  Enjoy!

Wisconsin Serving Victims of Crime Conference

I recently attended the Wisconsin Serving Victims of Crime Conference and have been meaning to blog about it. It was a three day conference held in Appleton, WI that attracted a wide variety of professionals (prosecutors, police officers, victim advocates, shelter workers, victim crisis responders, social workers, parole agents, etc.) and it sounds like it was the first of what will be an annual conference so for those of you who didn't attend this one, you will have a chance next year.

One session that I found especially helpful was a session on working with people who have cognitive disabilities presented by Mark Sweet, PhD, a Trainer & Consultant for Disability Rights Wisconsin (who also is a former teacher). Some points he made were that this is a group of people that have the most supervision yet are more likely to become victims of violence. The reason for this is that it is often those caring for them that are abusing them. So especially in cases where the victim is not able to communicate his/herself and we are speaking to someone else, we need to make sure we try and get at the perspective of the victim which is often very different than those around the victim. A victims actions may really be reactions to something that others don't realize they are doing. As I sat through this session I really wished that I had attended a presentation like this while I was still teaching because it likely would have affected the way I worked with students with disabilities.

Some other practical tips, I gained from this session that really apply to anyone you are talking to include giving time for the victim to process your questions and their answers. The presenter stressed that you are not helping someone if you jump in with more specific questions. The victim needs time to process especially someone with a disability and waiting patiently is something that is difficult for many of us. Also, direct eye contact can be intimidating (something I've noticed in working with certain clients). Dr. Sweet suggested having a different focus point like a drawing the victim drew right before speaking with you or court documents, anything that would help in not forcing the victim to make direct eye contact if she/he isn't comfortable with it. Additionally, if a victim is not comfortable looking at you while they talk, they likely aren't comfortable with you starting at them while you listen.

Perceptions of people

Last week, we received a referral for a case where when I was doing the conflict check I realized that I knew the opposing party. It really made me think about how we perceive people in public compared to who they are in the private of their own home.