Failings of the system

In working with victims of domestic violence over the last few months, my eyes have really been opened to things I never realized existed. But what has bothered me most is not the violence, but the way our system has failed so many individuals, allowing the violence to continue.

I am horrified at how just about every individual I speak with has lost confidence in the police and the job they do and has lost confidence in the criminal system to charge criminals. In cases where there is clear evidence and clearly a crime has been committed the DA's office will choose not to charge for reasons unknown to the rest of us. When individuals call 911, an officer does not always come out. At times when a clear domestic abuse has taken place that likely included violence, police will not even always remove one of the two from the property. And in times where a male is a victim, the police will often separate the victim from his children.

In one case a Spanish speaker said that the first time she called the police they told her that her address did not exist so they couldn't come out to help her. And on the second occasion that she called, the police stated that no one spoke Spanish and again could not help her.

I also am dismayed when I sit through restraining order hearings and the Commissioner denies the restraining order just because the police were never called even if the abuser admits to something. Lack of police involvement is in no way an indication of lack of violence. Remember, as I stated in the previous paragraphs, many individuals have lost confidence in police who never did anything on previous occasions when they called and so feel like it is a waste of time to call the police. And in a system, where the woman is always portrayed as the victim, male victims know that it is a waste of time to contact police for help.

And all this was really driven home this weekend, as I saw on the news a story of an individual who had been murdered and the suspect is her ex-boyfriend. Upon looking at open records online, I saw that this victim had attempted to get a restraining order against him recently and was denied it even though there were pending charges for the abuser of domestic abuse against this same victim. Would a restraining order have saved this young girl's life? Maybe not. But maybe, the victim would have had a chance to contact the police the second the abuser showed up instead of having to wait for violence to occur at a point when it was too late.