Listen carefully

Advocates for victims of domestic violence can be so passionate, myself included, that we sometimes forget to listen.  No one knows their abuser like the victim him/herself.  What we think to be best for a victim might further endanger a victim.  What we suggest may not be something the victim is comfortable with.  And regardless of whether the victim asks directly "What do you think I should do?" they may be listening very carefully to what we are saying and reply with what they think we want to hear.

It's important that we sit back and listen more and talk less.  It's important that we don't dictate solutions but help victims come up with their own solutions.  It's important that we remember that not all victims are ready to separate from the abuser for many reasons.  It's important that we listen.

Defensive wounds

Unless they are 2 years old, people don't just go out and bite people so it is always troubling when I hear cases where the police arrested someone for biting the other person or worse, charge them with a crime for biting someone. Bite marks and usually scratches are defensive wounds typically in reaction to being strangled or physically restrained. I really wish that when police heard the allegation that someone bit them, they would take the time to figure out why.