Collaborative Divorce

Not to detract from my more humorous post of today's date, I've been meaning to discuss this topic.

Our law firm seems to take on more and more collaborative divorces all the time and although this process is not for every divorce, when it works, it really works.

Let me start by summarizing how collaborative divorces work in our area.  Both parties enter into a Stipulation stating that they will approach this collaboratively.  They agree not to use traditional trial tools like formal discovery and instead work openly with each other to reach resolution.  They seek the assistance of financial advisers to settle financial issues and the assistance of coaches and a child specialist to settle issues related to custody and placement.

They agree that if the divorce becomes contested in Court they will seek new counsel so that discussions they had during the collaborative process stay a part of that process and aren't used against them at a contested hearing.

Last week, I had the opportunity to sit in on an office conference between our client and the attorney.  During that conference, they discussed in detail the discussions being had with the coaches and child specialist.  What amazed me was the honesty, reflection, and focus on the goal of what is best for the parties' son.  The comments she shared from the child specialist and both coaches showed a dedication to the process and helping two individuals work together to figure out what was best for their son.  Clearly both parties' coaches and the child specialist are really good at what they do.

I'm not trying to say the divorce goes perfectly with this model or that it works with every case (trust me, it doesn't!).  Any divorce involves two people very hurt by the actions of the other.  It is a very emotional time.  What this model does is allows for the parties to have a solid support system to help them through the process and help them come up with the best end results for a less than ideal situation.

Quotes from Court

At my last job I used to spend a lot of time in Court and as a result heard a lot of crazy things said by attorneys and occasionally by the Commissioners and Judges themselves.  So today when I came across this link, I couldn't help but laugh.

I still remember an attorney saying to me weeks after I saw her in Court that she learned her lesson not to ask any questions of her client that she doesn't already know the answer to.  I think the Court would have ruled in her client's favor if not for the answer to that one question she could have avoided asking.

The Casualties of Politics

I recently spoke with a veteran teacher who resigned from teaching and completely left the world of education.  From my conversations with her and observance of the way lead others out of school, I think it a safe bet to say she was a dedicated and very talented teacher.  She isn't the first and she won't be the last.

Recent politics has turned to bashing teachers and government workers in general.  It has turned to making demands about a profession one can't fully understand until one is immersed in it.  Recent politics have turned away from learning and towards results of meaningless assessments.  It has taken away from teachers the ability to teach in a way that will enhance future generations.

When you display such a hatred against a profession, take away all their tools to truly do their job well, and eliminate fair compensation you are only left with those that can't find a job elsewhere or don't mind being a part of a system that is falling apart.  Because the rest will find a new career.  The talented and dedicated educators will move on to a career where there isn't interference with doing a job one can be proud of.

Is that what people want?

I fear that 20,40, or even 60 years from now, the few who can rise up without a decent education will really regret the politics happening now.  And the rest will be too dumb to know the difference.

For something different

Here is a poem I wrote that I thought I would share with you.

My Client, a Survivor

By Rebecca Klamert

Her voice suddenly quiet,
she hesitates.

It’s her second call today.

Each resembles the last.

They all start the same:

a timid voice speaks my name;

a force of energy upon knowing its me;

a need to explain, doubtful I’ll believe.

This time she hopes

for a different response.

They all end the same:

after an intense conversation,

a hesitation,

and the soft whisper of goodbye.

Finding good people to hire

With this current job I'm seeing things from a different perspective as a supervisor of employees and as one who will be part of the hiring process as we look to find new talent.  It definitely has its challenges and I often face situations that are well out of my comfort zone but I know it is good for me.  I am a firm believer that growth only happens when you step out of your comfort zone and the sense of accomplishment at the end makes it all worth it.

Our firm is currently hiring a part-time Legal Assistant.  Here is a link to the ad on monster.com.  I haven't had a chance to carefully look at the stack of resumes on my desk but at first glance, I can't believe what people send out.

If you can't format a resume so that it is readable, how can I believe you will be able to format pleadings and Estate Planning documents correctly?

If there are glaring spelling and grammar mistakes on your resume and cover letter, what are the chances you will do well proofreading and composing letters?

If your cover letter is three sentences long, what does that say about your communication skills?

I remember the hours I have spent in the past drafting resumes and cover letters and completing online applications because I recognized that they had to be excellent, especially in this job market.

This reminds me of a time five or six years ago when in an online community a college graduate was having trouble finding a permanent full time job a couple of years after graduation.  She posted her cover letter and resume on the forum asking for feedback.  Her cover letter was two or three sentences long and her resume hard to read which to me really explained why she couldn't find a job.  The part that really got me though was when people tried to give her any feedback she completely dismissed it all.  It was only in the last year or so I heard she finally found something in the middle of no where out of state.

I'm rambling, I know.  My point in all of this is that if you don't put the time and energy necessary into your job search, employers are not going to believe you will put the time and energy needed to get the job done well.

LinkedIn

LinkedIn is becoming just another social site.  I don't even have an account with Facebook yet get invitations from people I don't really know (such as my husband's co-worker from 10 years ago who I probably only briefly met a couple of times).  With invitations like this, it's evident it is about a popularity contest and not about any real communication (there obviously are exceptions to this).

Now I'm starting to get the same invites on LinkedIn.  And as if the invites from those I don't really know weren't enough, I've had people on two occasions endorse me for a skill they have never seen me do.  One such endorsement came from someone who I haven't seen in close to 10 years long before I had even acquired the skill she endorsed.  With endorsements like this, how can anyone take any endorsements seriously.  LinkedIn could be such a good tool if people used it as it was meant to be used.

Attorneys’s Fees

Anyone who has been through a divorce or works with a law firm that handles divorces knows how quickly attorneys’ fees add up.  The cost of representation is beyond reach of probably a majority of those going through divorce.  Some choose to go in debt to have representation.  Others go it alone.

Now add to that thought the additional expense for cases that are highly contested.  And most highly contested cases involve domestic violence.

A victim of domestic violence is at a disadvantage for many reasons. 

S/He may be very traumatized from the violence which may have resulted in mental health issues.  The trauma and/or mental health issues often make it very difficult in communicating with the attorney and may make it difficult to make efficient use of their time with the attorney.  This results in a higher attorney bill because the attorney has to spend more time with him/her or results in the attorney have a lesser grasp of the case leading to a bad outcome for the individual.

This trauma and/or mental health issues also often result in him/her not presenting well to the court resulting in an unfavorable outcome.

Additionally, many victims of domestic violence were abused financially and so may have less or no access to marital money or may not be able to get credit because their spouse has significantly ruined their credit.

Private attorneys can’t take on all kinds of clients pro bono or they would never keep their doors open.  And they can provide discounts on their rates to a certain point without affecting their ability to stay in business.  And these cases are very time consuming. 

So I don’t know that there is an answer to this problem.  It’s just frustrating that representation usually becomes unaffordable to a victim of domestic violence.  And it doesn’t help that funding for programs that provide free or low cost representation like Legal Action of Wisconsin is constantly being cut.

Family Justice Center in Milwaukee

Today on jsonline, there is an article about plans for a Family Justice Center that will bring together many groups to better serve victims of domestic abuse.  When I worked at Legal Action, I remember discussions about bringing more groups together and it is really neat to see this might actually happen.