Collaborative Divorce

Not to detract from my more humorous post of today's date, I've been meaning to discuss this topic.

Our law firm seems to take on more and more collaborative divorces all the time and although this process is not for every divorce, when it works, it really works.

Let me start by summarizing how collaborative divorces work in our area.  Both parties enter into a Stipulation stating that they will approach this collaboratively.  They agree not to use traditional trial tools like formal discovery and instead work openly with each other to reach resolution.  They seek the assistance of financial advisers to settle financial issues and the assistance of coaches and a child specialist to settle issues related to custody and placement.

They agree that if the divorce becomes contested in Court they will seek new counsel so that discussions they had during the collaborative process stay a part of that process and aren't used against them at a contested hearing.

Last week, I had the opportunity to sit in on an office conference between our client and the attorney.  During that conference, they discussed in detail the discussions being had with the coaches and child specialist.  What amazed me was the honesty, reflection, and focus on the goal of what is best for the parties' son.  The comments she shared from the child specialist and both coaches showed a dedication to the process and helping two individuals work together to figure out what was best for their son.  Clearly both parties' coaches and the child specialist are really good at what they do.

I'm not trying to say the divorce goes perfectly with this model or that it works with every case (trust me, it doesn't!).  Any divorce involves two people very hurt by the actions of the other.  It is a very emotional time.  What this model does is allows for the parties to have a solid support system to help them through the process and help them come up with the best end results for a less than ideal situation.

Quotes from Court

At my last job I used to spend a lot of time in Court and as a result heard a lot of crazy things said by attorneys and occasionally by the Commissioners and Judges themselves.  So today when I came across this link, I couldn't help but laugh.

I still remember an attorney saying to me weeks after I saw her in Court that she learned her lesson not to ask any questions of her client that she doesn't already know the answer to.  I think the Court would have ruled in her client's favor if not for the answer to that one question she could have avoided asking.